One Christmas I unwrapped her candy-pink wrapping
and at first I thought that this lass was pretty neat.
Then I realised this bitch was feminist-slapping
and let the dog gnaw off her plastic, tip-toed feet!
I’d stuff my bra in the dressing table mirror
and refuse to buy Sindy because I was loyal.
I’d starve myself and regularly skip my dinner
because this plastic person was like a royal.
First in the line outside Woolworths, I would be there!
A pint-size consumer hungry for the new lines.
Until I reached thirteen. And shaved off all her hair.
Until I realised how she served those sexist swines!
Phallus-less Ken was my window into the world
when I was a little girl. He was Barbie’s beau.
But chiselled-chinned Ken got hurled, while Barbie got knurled
because my Ken wouldn’t go for this bimbo ho!
Those candy-pink cardboard boxes became coffins.
I, the Grim Reaper who chopped off their empty heads!
For all those inadequate specs-sporting boffins
whom thanks to this Corporate Chippie… wished they were dead.
Barbie & Me
Sarah Louise Parry is currently an undergraduate Journalism student at Cardiff University.