When I was younger I wanted to be an intellectual.
So I left dog-eared copies of Crime and Punishment and No Exit
dangling precariously from my coffeehouse table-
everyone saw right through me.
When I was younger I wanted to be a REAL MAN.
So I spit bullshit with ol'boys on the cleanup crew,
and laughed at their stories of beer, women and cars-
after a while they stopped talking to me.
When I was younger i wanted to be a hippy.
So I dropped a whole bunch of acid, smoked all the weed I could,
I wanted to BE LOVE and love everyone-
but I hated myself too much.
When I was younger I wanted to be a radical.
So I went West with nothing but a backpack,
I marched for Leonard, against war and worshipped Che-
I came home in debt and took a corporate gig.
When I was younger I read Bukowski and Kerouac.
So I had a Buddha and drank myself stupid,
slept with woman I shouldn't have and made worthless friends-
then I found Neruda and understood poetry.
When I was younger I had a baby.
So I remembered everything my uncle ever showed me
about fishing, faith and a firm hand-
but I told him to fuck himself and I make it up as I go along.
When I was younger I wanted Truth.
So I found contradiction and confusion,
I found all the glories of the earth-
there is no end to evolution.
When I Was Younger
Michael G. Finlay has a BA in Theatre and Creative Writing. He has been a self-described "poet-monk" for the past five years, working odd-jobs, writing and not doing much of anything else. He lives in Nashville, TN with his daughter, cat and a large group of loved ones.